It all started two days ago. He came over to say hi and we got to talking and we sort of hit it off automatically. But ours is a forbidden love so I doubt if anything will actually materialize from this crush which makes me think back to all my intense crushes of yesteryear. None of it actually had any physical outcome. I don't think I've ever had a crush that resulted in anything more than a crush. Normally time will ease the longings and make it easier to see the person and not want to jump on him :)
It's a nice feeling having a crush on someone. You think of all sorts of ways to touch your crushee, to make at least some sort of physical connection. You get tongue tied whenever your crushee is around. You want to sound interesting but somehow your thoughts and your tongue never make the connection. You want to act cool and nonchalant but that never happens. And the worst of it, is when you do something totally embarassing in front of your crushee. Not only do you want the earth to open and swallow you whole but you'll also want the earth to chew and grind you til you don't feel anything. Oh the humanity..
But I stand by my statement, it's a nice feeling to have a crush on someone. For those few precious moments, your world is elevated to a bubbly place where everything is shiny and perky. Sure, sometimes you won't be able to function properly and sometimes you act strangely and sometimes you forget what you're doing, but in the end the hope for love will always pull you through.
One consolation that I've discovered for myself is that I've become good friends with almost all the people I've had crushes on, boys and girls included. And maybe that is how I cope with the thought of knowing that I'll never be able to hold that person in the way that I want. Instead of going down the lovers road, perhaps it's better to go down the friends road. And then again, maybe crushes were never meant to be anything but that.
So here's to you my new crush. May we become good friends fast ;)
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