baby can i hold you tonight

I have an insane crush on someone and I am finally coming to terms with it. The last time I had a crush this bad was eons ago. And I've totally forgotten how it feels.

It all started two days ago. He came over to say hi and we got to talking and we sort of hit it off automatically. But ours is a forbidden love so I doubt if anything will actually materialize from this crush which makes me think back to all my intense crushes of yesteryear. None of it actually had any physical outcome. I don't think I've ever had a crush that resulted in anything more than a crush. Normally time will ease the longings and make it easier to see the person and not want to jump on him :)

It's a nice feeling having a crush on someone. You think of all sorts of ways to touch your crushee, to make at least some sort of physical connection. You get tongue tied whenever your crushee is around. You want to sound interesting but somehow your thoughts and your tongue never make the connection. You want to act cool and nonchalant but that never happens. And the worst of it, is when you do something totally embarassing in front of your crushee. Not only do you want the earth to open and swallow you whole but you'll also want the earth to chew and grind you til you don't feel anything. Oh the humanity..

But I stand by my statement, it's a nice feeling to have a crush on someone. For those few precious moments, your world is elevated to a bubbly place where everything is shiny and perky. Sure, sometimes you won't be able to function properly and sometimes you act strangely and sometimes you forget what you're doing, but in the end the hope for love will always pull you through.

One consolation that I've discovered for myself is that I've become good friends with almost all the people I've had crushes on, boys and girls included. And maybe that is how I cope with the thought of knowing that I'll never be able to hold that person in the way that I want. Instead of going down the lovers road, perhaps it's better to go down the friends road. And then again, maybe crushes were never meant to be anything but that.

So here's to you my new crush. May we become good friends fast ;)

i want to know what love is

I sincerely believe that we as human beings must do everything we can to contribute and help each other whenever we can. If not for the betterment of mankind then do it for karma.

One of the hottest shopping malls near my place has recently started a Pink Campaign for the month of October where pledges are taken and the donations are forwarded for breast cancer research and also for helping women with breast cancer who can't afford treatment. Cancer affects everyone of us regardless if we are touched personally by the disease. And contrary to popular belief, breast cancer also affects men.

Mum and me recently signed up our pledges. If you happen to be in the neighbourhood, please walk over to BangsarVillage and do your part. Put the money in the box and sign your support. It doesn't take much effort and time. Do it for yourself and for the people around you. Life's too short to think twice.

Can you see my name on the board below?

For more info, click here pink. It's always nice to see an entire neighbourhood come together for a cause. It's even nicer when an entire nation comes together for a cause ;)

Another friend recently did her part too! Good on you girl!

all the way

I got a text from one of my fuckbuddies yesterday. Totally expecting it to be a bootycall, I almost rear-ended the car in front of me when I read the text "Wanna meet me for dinner tonight?"

Me and LoudMoaner (LM) have been hooking up for about a year now and each time, it's just sex. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no emotional attachment, no follow-up requirement, nothing. We see each other solely as a piece of meat. But it's not like we discussed our arrangement or signed any agreement, it's just one of those things that happened and kept happening.

I replied with a simple text. "WHY?". And below is a basic transcript of what transpired between us.

LM: It'll be nice to see you with your clothes on for a change ;p

Me: I don't think that's gonna be happening. I've got plans.

LM: I know it'd be weird but it'll be nice to have a conversation with you and get to know you.

Me: You already know more about the best parts of me than most people do so that's enough, don't you think?

LM: It's just that we've been seeing each other for a year now and I don't even know what kind of movies you like or what your favourite colour is or whether you have a pet?

Me: RomComs. Purple. Nope.

The conversation ended here. I mean seriously, why ruin a good thing. I've got no qualms about using LM as a piece of meat. We call each other up when we have needs and when the need is fulfilled, we say goodbye and don't hear from each other again until another need arises. It's so simple. Why complicate things with dinner and movies and introducing to each other's friends? Don't go looking for trouble I always say. Cos sooner or later, trouble will come looking for you ;) Case in point.

I texted LM and told LM what I thought our situation was and how we're comfortable with what we have and that we don't need to take things to another level and as for that whole 'seeing each other for a year' thing, I really wouldn't call it 'seeing each other' since we only sweat everytime we meet.

In today's mad rush for glory, I sincerely think having a few 'friends with benefit' is the only way to live your life and satisfy your needs. Sure, one night stands are cool. And random hook ups are fun but having someone you know will always be there when you need them to be and then not there when you need them not to be there, well, in my eyes that is perfection.